There are about 10 million people in this country, give or take a million, that all look alike. They are all wearing a baseball hat turned one way or another. They are all wearing their pants have way done their asses. They all have big sunglasses on. Indoors even. The all have a big chain that’s long with a big pendant. They all have their shoes untied and walk with a limp. Originals. Ask every single one of them and they would tell you. Yet, they all look alike. How can that be you ask.? Because they are delusional. They see their favourite rapper/hip hopper dressing that way and they just have to copy. Now don’t get me wrong I love hip-hop. Ever since I first heard Eazy-E’s Boyz in da Hood. Why? Why do they copy? I’ll tell you why; They have to dress alike to fit in. If they are not like all the pack they will be an outsider. God forbid. Just be your self.

 P.S. Sagging your pants now will give you back pains later. You have to adjust your walk to keep your pants up. Weather its a limp, bow-legged, or what ever it is you do to your natural walk to hold your pants up, it will give you back problems.

Come Pinkie we must prepare for tomorrow night. Gee Brain what are gonna do tomorrow night.

Same thing we do every night Pinkie… TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

NARF!!!

“If there is no wind…Row.”

Peruvian Proverb

My brothers cat is a freak. She is needy and freaky. She won’t leave me alone. She meows at me till I let her in my room. Then she crawls over my foot till I kick her off. Then she squats down ans digs her claws in to the carpet and I pull her tail. And I don’t mean when you pet a cat thru to the tail. I mean really pull it. She pulls back and everything. She also likes her ass smacked. I’m not joking, LOL.

 I got my car. Its great to have it back. Taking the bus was horrible. Not really horrible just tiring. I know people do it every day u can seefor a long time. Its tough . Your day is long. You got to get up an hour to four hours,mine was three, depending on how far you live and what routes you take. And it such an experience rriding the bus. It smells, the people are just weird and they talk to themselves. There is always the poser ass dude who is dressed in a ugly hoody his pant to his ass and his hat crooked. He’s usually white. There is an old woman who talks to herself, a lot. Last but not least the really really fat guy who really really stinks. REALLY STINKS. He smells like piss, cat food, and old farts. But at least you can read quite a bit on your travels. But to all those who take the bus every day for every thing especially going to work to support yourself and your family I salute you. For those who are just lazy…get off your ass and better your self. And please wash and use deordant before you go out.

LIVE YOUR LIFE BEFORE YOU GIVE LIFE

-CHARLOTT WARD-

 When I decided to put a new motor in my car, I went online to find a junkyard in the area. The first one that came up was Ken’s Auto Wreckage. I called them and they told me they had the right engine, a 2001 Dodge Neon, for $400. I talked to my mechanic about actually putting in a new engine instead of replacing the head. He said it would be about the same price so I called them back and got the engine. I got a ride down and this place was hard to find. It was on Coppersage Drive. Coppersage is over off of Lamb and Craig. Going along on Craig east past Lamb you see Coppersage. We make the left and we’re looking for Ken’s. We could not find it anywhere. I called them and he told me they were on Coppersage right off of Tropical. The thing is Coppersage is split by, get this, a junk yard. Not their’s but  someone else’s.

 When we got there I paid and they said they would deliver it the first next day. Which they did the next afternoon . My mechanic tells me its backward. The crank shaft is on the other side. He tells me that he can rig it. Which he did. When he was done he couldn’t get it started. It turns out that the there is no was for it to work. This was a few days process.  He calls Ken’s and tells him that we need to get the CORRECT engine. They told him that they had to look for it. The next day went by. Then the next. Nothing. Then on Wednesday they finally tell him they found one and they would deliver it first thing last Friday. They did not. I called Ken’s on Monday and they told me they were waiting for my mechanic to call them to let them know that the wrong engine is out of my car. I call my mechanic and he tells me he already did that. Tuesday comes and still no delivery. I called and they try to give me the same excuse. By this time I’m really pissed. They told me the next day. Wednesday afternoon still no engine. I call again and Ken’s tells me that their driver did not show up that day and since Thursday was Turkey Day, first thing Friday morning. Friday afternoon finally the engine gets there. Talk about horrible customer service. People, if you ever need to use a junkyard. DO NOT GO TO KEN’S AUTO WRECKAGE. 5051 Coppersage Rd. Unit B Las Vegas, NV 89115. They gave me the wrong engine in the first place and dicked me around with the exchange.

About a month and a half ago I was heading back to work from my house. I got half way over the overpass and blam. A spark plug blew out. I was pissed and a little scared. I know nothing about cars. I was on the phone with people at auto stores. There was a possibility the head was stripped and needed to be fixed. It was. When I went back the next day to replace the spark plugs I could not screw in the plug of the one that blew. It was stripped.  I got it towed to my house. I found out I could get a replacement head for $900. I had to wait two weeks to get money. I found a cheaper mechanic the Car Doctor. I had it towed there and was gonna have a patch called a heliocoil. The hole in the head was to big. It was to big even to be drilled out. So was going to get a new head but I found I could get a “new”(used) engine and have that installed for about the same amount. So I got a  engine from a junk yard. Ken’s Auto Wreckage (see KEN’S AUTO WRECKAGE). I got a ride and paid $431 for the engine. They delivered it the next day. My mechanic gets it and is looking at it and the crank shaft is on the wrong side. He calls me and tells me about it but tells me he can rig it. Two days later he calls me and tells me he can’t get it started. He tells me he is going to think about it over night and see what he can figure out. The next day he tells me that because the engine is is an 2003 and , my Neon is a 2001. After 2002 Neon’s engines reversed and there is no way that they can be connected. I had to call Ken’s and see if they had the correct engine. They took another two days (again see KEN’S AUTO WRECKAGE). Then Ken’s told me that my mechanic had to call him to let him know that the original engine was out so he could deliver. On Friday of last week, my mechanic tells me that Ken’s that they were going to deliver it first thing Monday morning. Tuesday afternoon nothing. I called Ken’s and they said they were waiting for my mechanic to call and them him the engine is out. I told him that he did that. SO Wednesday, the day before Turkey day, Ken’s tells me that their driver didn’t show up. I was cussing and yelling at him about his company (other post). Friday afternoon replacement engine shows up. Tuesday I should have my car back. I have been so stressed about having the money, getting the right part and worrying if my job was safe. They were doing lay-offs at work and was worried I would last. I did. I was so tired from having long days of getting up early to ride the bus and working that I was had no energy of desire to go places. I had to bus it or rely on friends to get places. Hopefully Tuesday it will be over.

McHave McYou McEver McEaten McAt McDonald’s. OK I made my point. Could they use Mc any more in the names of there food. McRib, McWrap, McFlurry and the new one McSkillet I don’t even now what that one McIs. Last one I swear. The food at McDonald’s is so fatting and unhealthy the EPA should close it. We all saw Super Size. That dude got fat eating that shit. The Big Mac. Please that buger is smaller than the bun. Every time I’ve eaten there I have had my stomach doing jumping jacks. I havn’t eaten there in like three years. But I’ve eaten it more since my car has been broke down. (see MY CAR) Before they changed the bus route the only way to work dropped me off and the only place to eat…you guessed it McDonald’s. I needed my breakfast so there it was. I do not eat there any more. I eat off the roach couch that comes to my work. I know not any better. I don’t eat there either. Every day I would sit at work and my stomach is bubbling. Damn cheese burgers. On the weekends, damn sauge mcmuffins. It was my fault for eating there but I can still can complain about their food. Yet people keep eating there. People eat healthy once and a while. Put down the double quarter and pick up a salad. I have been activitly been eating healthier. Please try it.

A man and his wife and their son and daughter walk in to a talent agency. The father walks up to the man behind the desk. “We would like to auditions for you!” says the father. The agent looks at them then at the father, “A family act? I don’t do family acts no more.” he answers. “No sir. You have to see our act we are really good.” the father says excitedly. “OK. But make it quick.” the agent says.

  The father turns around and pulls down his pants. The son comes over and starts blowing his father. The mother pulls up her skirt and the daughter gets down and starts eating her. Then the father goes to the daughter and bends her over and starts fucking her in the ass. The son goes to his mom and starts fucking her in the ass. After that the fathers takes a shit on the floor and the others start rolling around in it. The mother starts eating the shit and spitting shit and her kids. The son starts fucking his sister and the mother and father are masturbating while watching. Once every one cums the father stands up and says “TADAH.” The talent agent stares at them all slack jaw. “That was amazing. What do you call yourselves?” The father answers, ” The ARISTOCRATES!”